Which means if you’re a man you shouldn’t be reading this. But in the event that you are, know I don’t mind. However, I will give you a piece of advice. Once you’re finished reading this, don’t be stupid. Don’t go printing this off and giving it to your lady or send her a link to it. It’s not worth even bringing it up. If she comes across it on her own accord, great. If not, let it go. Trust me, you don’t want this attached to you in any way. (Bro, I’m seriously questioning whether or not I should even write this. It’s too late for me. Save yourself.)

Ladies, please understand something, I am in no way claiming to understand the complexities of you. I swear. Far greater men than me have attempted such foolishness and failed. But what I am going to do is attempt to speak for all men on a few things that I think you should know causes us grief. Perhaps some of what I mention is valid. Perhaps none of it is. I’ll be speaking in very general terms with a broad brush. Please remember that. I wrote a blog for the guys, so I thought it only fair I write one for the women too. (Because, I do dumb things)

Women love to talk. You are very social creatures. We know this. Men generally like this. Even when we say we don’t. We know that it’s better to have you talking because when the talking stops that typically means there’s a problem and we don’t want that kind of problem. The problem we have with it is more about when you decide you want to talk and with who.

Sometimes the moment a guy walks in the door isn’t always the best time to decide to go on about your day. Don’t get me wrong, I get that you’ve had a lot going on in your day and you want to share but maybe waiting a bit for your guy to get a chance to unwind first might be good. ‘Cause if you hit him at the door, chances are you’re going to be making yourself another task he needs to complete that day before he gets a break. Which means he’s going to either tune you out or attempt to get you to the point.

When we’re watching a movie or a game, we’re typically planning on actually watching those things with our eyes. Guys aren’t too great at multitasking. So, when you decide to tell us something about that happened during the day that you just remembered that’s awesome, but what’s even awesomer…is actually watching the movie or game. ‘Cause that’s what we’re doing right at that moment. Obviously there are some guys that would simply stop the movie or game to listen but you shouldn’t assume your guy is one of them.

Women love to gossip. You get in an argument with your man and you want to talk. We get it. Got to talk to someone, right? NEED to share your thoughts and vent. We get it. But sometimes, who you talk to about stuff with your guy creates more problems than you realize. Especially if you’re one of those women who are a bit light in the wits area and you don’t just talk to ONE of your friends but ALL of your friends and suddenly your man is a jerk to every mutual friend you got.

You think you are justified in this. You’re not. How you portray your man to other people IS a big deal. I personally have never had much respect for women that trash their men publicly. To me, they look like total fools and lose all credibility. I feel sorry for the men that are with them. Women that do that are in error.

When you do that after an argument, you need to stop and actually think about who you’re telling the intimate details of your relationship with. Is the person you’re venting to have a vested interest in the success of your relationship? No? Then why are you sharing stuff like that with them? You can vent sure, but if that person isn’t the type to check you on what’s coming out of your mouth, then all you’re doing is feeding gossip. Gossip that your man will not recover from if you make up and get back together. 

If you’re seeking counsel from them, then they HAVE to have a vested interest in the success of the relationship in order to be a valid source of counsel. Meaning that, you pick counsel that fits your worldview. Let me explain it like this, the relationship advice you get from an Atheist will be different than the relationship advice you get from a Christian (Or at least should be), get it? GOOD counsel KNOWS that there are two sides to every story and will call you on your side of the story, when they feel the need to. So, you really need to properly vet the people you’re accepting counsel from. It’s a REALLY big deal and shouldn’t be taken lightly. The people you talk to, the people you choose to listen to, will make or break your relationship. So choose wisely.

NO ONE is saying you can’t or shouldn’t find someone to talk to. It IS a vitally important thing for you to do. You ABSOLUTELY need a trusted ear and shoulder to lean on. It’s a huge part of a persons mental health. It’s a must. But, be smart about it. Don’t cause yourself more problems out of ignorance.

Be a honest woman and have integrity. Seriously. It’s so rare. If you could actually manage that, you’d be set a part amongst women. Because men know women lie. The deceit of women is well documented throughout history. No need to even attempt to argue it. Women are liars. Sure, they lie for different reasons. Some claim it’s justified or dismiss it as insignificant. But the reality is, lying is a form of verbal relationship cancer. It cuts at the very foundation of a relationship. Regardless of how any of you choose to dismiss it. The man you’re with should never have to question whether or not he’s hearing the truth. You should be the ONLY one in his life that he can fully trust to tell the truth. If you’re not, you need to change that.

Shut other men down. We know, women like attention. We get it. Sometimes we don’t always show you enough of the attention you need. Maybe we didn’t realize the latest haircut or the painted nails. But regardless of that, don’t be seeking that attention from other guys. The moment you do we’ll question your loyalty. You may think its innocent flirting. Its not. We know the score. What is innocent to you, is a layup for other guys. So, shut it down. Cold. Hard. Spare me the “Well I didn’t want to be rude”. Because the moment you say that, you’re telling the man you’re with that his emotions are valued less than that of a strangers. You value your man? Shut. It. Down. Be rude. Your man will love you for it. Truly. You’re making a huge statement in his favor when you do that.

Appreciate your man. They aren’t always gonna get it right. Sometimes jobs don’t work out. Sometimes businesses fail. Money can be an issue. Just hang tight with them. Especially if you got a guy that’s doing the best he can. They want the best for you. Truly. But sometimes life kicks them to the curb and things don’t work out like they plan. Don’t be kicking them too. Try to be understanding. I know, it can suck at times, especially when you got young babies to care for. But sometimes things are bigger than your man may be willing to admit he can handle. Sometimes the only good he has in his day is you. Be the good. Be the one thing in your mans day that’s good. Support him. Especially when things are the hardest. Believe he’ll get the quan. He’ll never forget it.

Sex. You control it. We know that. Give it up. Frequently and often. Find time. Pencil him in. Get your rest. Take an aspirin. That’s how we connect. You connect through talking, guys connect through physical contact. Not fair? Blame God because he designed it like that or biology if you don’t believe in God. But don’t attempt to provide some lame argument of it simply because you don’t want to put forth the effort. Just acknowledge the truth of it and be willing to DO YOUR PART. Be available. You WANT that man to be emotionally connected with you. You can’t achieve that unless you’re willing to give it up. Simply can’t. Guys aren’t wired to connect any other way. 

Now, I know this doesn’t cover everything. I realize that there are relationship differences and variations. But I also talk to guys frequently and these are some of the things I routinely hear talked about among them. So, take it or leave it. Personally, I hope you apply it and salvage what ya got. Be well! 

Read more here: For Men’s Eyes Only 

Copyright©2019 Jacob C. Larson All Rights Reserved

***I like to write. But I’ve realized that sometimes what I write has unexpected and unintended consequences. So I’d like to address one of those right now. I’m not currently in a relationship. Nor do I have any plans of being in one any time soon. Everything that I have talked about in these blogs I have personally done or experienced. None of which has afforded me any value. My mistakes, my failures, have always outweighed any of the good I’ve ever done. You could say, well, I’ve simply chose the wrong women. But to say that is just an admission of poor judgement on my part. So until that’s remedied, I’m not looking to get involved with anyone right now.

That doesn’t mean I’m simply looking of casual sex. I’m not. I simply don’t want any of it. I’m not trying to be rude.  I am saying this in the best way I know how. I’m seriously not interested. So, we can chat, banter back and forth, exchange memes, etc. But that’s about the extent of it. I’m not looking for anything more. Just an FYI. And, if something changes, and I’m interested in you, you’ll know it. I’ll be the guy holding the boom box above his head outside your window… 🙂