If you’ve ever been in a relationship you know that sometimes how you say something can have more of an impact or be more damaging than what you actually said. The timing of when and where you have certain talks can often determine the success or failure of the attempted communication. Which is why, when I hear of statements made like, “You’re too fat to F@%K”, I wonder and have to ask, HOW did they get to that point to say something like that to someone? 

I mean, I’ve heard things similar to that said by people

who were total strangers. That were making judgments purely on appearance. But to hear something like that coming from your mate? How do you recover from something like that? What a devastating blow.

You can’t attempt to justify saying something like that as “Just being honest”. That isn’t honesty. That’s cruelty. That is something said by someone who doesn’t give a damn about the person they’re saying it to. They literally don’t give a shit how much emotional pain they cause.

Yet, I’ve seen and heard of men and women in relationships that have said similar things to their significant other. Sure, they’ll try to dismiss it or claim it’s a joke. But why would you joke like that? Why would you make a comment like that to someone you claim to love and care for? I don’t get it.

Bodies change. I don’t care how often you hit the gym or curb your diet.

Your body simply will not, can not, remain the same as when you started your relationship. They aren’t designed to. So if you can’t wrap your brain around that basic concept or at least don’t have the wits to recognize the need for tact when discussing the flaws of your mate, then you need to come to grips with your own ignorance.

The body may have been what brought you two together, but the whole point of a relationship is to transcend the physical. That should prevent you from ever wanting to verbally criticize your mate with something they may or may not be able to change.

So in short, watch your mouth! Some words cut in ways that never fully mend. Especially hurtful words that are delivered by the one who claims to love you.

Copyright©2024 Jacob C. Larson All Rights Reserved

***You in a relationship with someone then you have given them the proverbial keys to hurt you. The things they say to you and about you will have a greater impact on your emotional well-being than things said by a stranger. Knowing that you should tread lightly. You wouldn’t want someone you love to speak hurtful to you, then you should also be mindful of what you are saying to them. Their heart is in your hands. 

****“But Mr. Larson we shouldn’t give anybody that much control over our personal well-being.” Um, ya you should. The person you are with and claim to love and who claims to love you. If not, then WTF you doin in that relationship? Go get a dog. 

*****TBH, out of the two sexes, guys are incredibly dumb when it comes to this topic. Try as I may, getting men to understand the basic concept that you be truthful and tactful without being cruel, has proven to be quite the challenge. Speak kindly to your mate. Even when you are mad. ESPECIALLY when you are mad. It will benefit you both in Spades!