I was never a big fan of some of the things my parents did. In fact, some things were just flat out ridiculous in my opinion. I can remember coming home after school and being immediately hammered by my Ma the moment I walked in over something I did or didn’t do while I had been at school. She’d be right up in my face yelling at me the moment I walked in the door, as if I was to magically know what it was she was upset about. After a while, I got sick of that shit. So I simply told her, that if you were going to continue to approach me that way the moment I walk in, I am no longer going to listen to you.  I was at the age where I could do that and there wasn’t much she could do about it. So I’d walk in, she start yelling at me, and I’d walk to my room and shut the door. Didn’t listen ta a word she said.

One day, she decided ta follow me into my room and continue to yell about something. Then she decided she was going to physically smack my mouth for telling her to get out of my room. *Oops! I proceeded to grab each of her wrists so she couldn’t hit me and exited her from my room.

My dad came into my room with a belt. He decided it would be a good idea ta attempt to discipline me for pushing my Ma out of my room. So, I left no other choice, than to take the belt from him, knock him on his ass, and stand there over him with that belt in my hand. I had had enough. I was done. Wasn’t going to be approached that way any more. I made sure that day they both knew it. My parents never approached me that way again.

Over time both of my parents have apologized to me about that day. I apologized too. I never wanted any of that ta happen and I felt no joy in droppin my old man or standing over him with his belt in my hand. But, I had grown up. The methods in which they used to discipline me in the past had ta change. Methods in which they deemed necessary and effective for me at the time. Methods of which as time passed I am sure they would have done differently.

The point being: parents don’t always get it right.

Sometimes, they get it way wrong. Being a parent now myself, I can attest to this. Looking back over how some things have gone down with my own kids I have longed for a “redo”. I guess you could say, it’s the nature of the business of parenting.

You’re gonna make mistakes. You’re gonna f*ck up. Hopefully, those mistakes are forgivable. Some aren’t. Some will haunt you for the rest of your life.

That being said, it’s always Scoobied me when I hear someone in their 3o’s or 4o’s bitchin about their parents over shit that happened when they were kids. Like…at what point do you finally come to the realisation that some shit is just fucked up and it can’t be fixed or changed? Like, your 6o, 7o, or in some cases 8o year old mother simply isn’t going to be able to remedy the trauma they inferred on you 2o years ago, ya kno? And they don’t have any other kids, like…you’re the last of them, so whether or not they “get” the pain they caused you, is at this point, irrelevant. How many apologies is ever gonna suffice? 

Don’t get me wrong, Ima not sayin don’t speak your peace. By all means, speak your peace. But after that…shut the fuck up about it. Because nobody that hears about it needs ta hear about it and honestly, we don’t care. We ALL got our traumas ta deal with. Your traumas are not unique. Quit foolin yourself thinkin they are. 

NOTHING yo Momma or your Pa did to you when you were seven has shit for bearing on how you are as an ADULT now. NOTHING. At the ripe old age of 3o or 4o you have had ample opportunity to address those demons, recognize that trauma, address that trauma, and ta grow the fuck up.

Sound harsh? Ya, maybe. But it’s THIS BULLSHIT that you dragging along with you that keeps you in the SAME SHIT you’re in. It’s THIS BULLSHIT that you simply use to play the victim and afford yourself free of the guilt of the traumas that YOU have inflicted on others.

So….Grow up. Please. For the sake of all of us in Society. Acknowledge the fact that your parents didn’t always get it right and that you didn’t either. Then call it for what it is: Bullshit; and move on with your life.

Now I swear, there are some 3o and 4o year olds that will read that, not get it, and continue to behave like the simple minded adult children that they are. For those, I truly feel for. Burdened with the height of stupidity, they will wrestle with the demons left of them from their parents long after their parents are gone. They’ll continue to blame their parents and how they were raised for all the shitty things their life has given them. But that, is still bullshit and absolutely not true.

Your life is how it is, at this point, because of YOU. Not your parents. Not how you were raised. YOU. You have created all there is to what your life at this point has afforded you; and it’s high time someone said it.

So, grow the fuck up and own your own shit.

Copyright©2022 Jacob C. Larson All Rights Reserved

***And for the love of God leave your damn parents alone. Seriously. How many years do they have ta listen to you droning on about how abused you were as a kid? Seriously. Ya got 6o, 7o, and 8o year old people listening ta people in their 3o’s, 4o’s and 5o’s drone on about how bad they had it growin up with them as parents. Shoot me in the fuckin head. I can not think of a more pointless thing ta listen to. Grow the fuck up. 

****A guy told me one time that people do the best they can with what they can. I have found that to be true. As much as you can sit there at age 3o or 4o and bitch about the traumas you incurred at the hands of your parents, trust me, those parents of yours went thru some of the SAME SHIT and in some cases much worse before they ever had you. So acknowledge that, dipshit. Afford them some peace of it….and if ya can’t do that, because whatever it was they did to you was so egregious, then at least be adult enough to walk away, and never grace them with your presence again. Either way, grow the fuck up and shut up about it. Get it? 

*****Nothing is a greater sign of immaturity in a person than someone who is of the age of 3o or 4o that still has mommy or daddy issues. Nothing. Sure, some things take time. Understood. But if you haven’t come ta terms with some of that shit at that age, then you are using whatever happened as a way to ignore or lessen the traumas that you KNOW you have committed on others. It’s simply your “go to” excuse for being a piece of shit. Stop it. Address your own shit and grow up. The people inflicted in your life will appreciate it.