This isn’t going to be a very popular blog. I can feel the looks of disapproval while I’m writing it. The narrowing of the eyes, not from hard of seeing, but from the reactive expressions of the face while reading what I am about to say.

Lately I have been seeing a lot of videos describing things that involve “being a man”. Most of which pretty much suck. Men and women who have recognized things perpetrated on men by society that have been overlooked or deemed acceptable practices perpetrated on men. At first I thought, it’s about time. But after pondering them a bit longer I realized, they aren’t grounded in reality; and the core reason behind why things are the way they are, is because they need to be that way. 

A while back I was fortunate enough to be around a camp fire with a group of guys that varied in ages.

One of the younger guys was newly married.

The conversation had quickly turned ta women, as it usually does, and this kid starts to share with us how he had been going thru a rough time that he unwittingly shared with lady, and he was upset with her reaction of it.

Now…the moment the words of him sharing how he felt with his lady slipped from his mouth, it was as if he had bit the head of a small kitten, cause literally every guy around that fire immediately started saying, “Nooooooo!”…”You don’t ever tell your lady shit like that, bro!”. 

Seriously. It was almost in unison. The look on the kids face was that of confusion, shock, and embarrassment. Cause he didn’t know….

And this is the rub about bein a guy…Women want you ta open up…Society tells you ta open up…Share your feelings, etc.: But they don’t. Not really. 

And the moment you do,

they lose respect for you.

 

Now, that sucks. I concur. But no amount of videos, discussions, or group meetings are gonna change that; and I’m not sure it should.

Women tend ta want a man they can rely on and count on. Someone they can take their problems to and get answers; or at the very least, feel better about their situation by being able to go to a resource that will help them emotionally with whatever it is. 

But what do they got when

that resource is broken?

 

What happens when that rock has nothing left ta give? What happens when that comfort isn’t capable or able to provide any?

I know most of the women reading this would say they wouldn’t lose respect for their man. That they’d be the resource he needs, they’d tend his wounds, and bring him comfort, etc. And sure…for a while, a moment, that may be the case…but there is always a price that comes with that. One that many men fail to recover from.

See, as a man, your level of performance is a thing. Fail once and your woman will stand by you, encourage you, defend you….fail continually, you one step away from gettin’ kicked ta the curb, bro. They may stay with you…but how they think of you, how they treat you, will be different. Guaranteed.

So ya…sharing your deepest fears and concerns with a woman you’re romantically involved with isn’t that great of an idea. Not only does it decrease your chances of having sex, but it could inject a doubt into your relationship that you won’t be able to recover from. That’s something that appears to be a common thing known amongst men.

Sometimes it’s just better to remain silent. Not out of ego…but out of self-preservation. 

Copyright©2022 Jacob C. Larson All Rights Reserved

***Yes, I know…”nOt aLL wOmEn aRe tHe sAmE!”, “i’M nOt liKe tHat!”, etc. I get it. No one likes ta look close at the characteristics and behaviors that suck. I know I don’t. But I didn’t exactly make this up and if it didn’t resonate with some of my own experiences I wouldn’t have much ta say about it. But alas, it does. There has been only one woman in my life that has ever given enough of a damn about me to actually “be there” for me when the weight of the world was crashing down on me and didn’t look at me any differently afterwards. One. The others simply used those times that I unwittingly shared stuff with them as a way to cut me down during arguments or use it as justifications as to why they treated me the way they did. And for the guys that are reading this, that have women like that…I feel for ya, bro. That truly sucks. 

****Women will spend hours, days, months, going on and on and on about how their day went. How something was said or done that hurt their feelings, made them feel bad about themselves, etc. They look to the men they are with to feel better about themselves and those things. As a man, you’re supposed to be that rock they can rely on and provide that comfort they need. You don’t get ta feel the same way about YOUR life, bro. Just don’t. And maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe more emotional “strength” IS what is needed in society? God knows there are plenty of women screaming for it now! 

*****You can share stuff with your guy friends…not with your lady. Not really. Not unless that lady is damn solid. So you tread lightly on that shit. Women don’t really want to know you don’t know what you’re doing or that you’re worried, or afraid about any given situation. They don’t. So keep what you got inside. Safe. You’ll be better off for it. And for all the women callin bullshit…look in the mirror Princess! It’s all you. 

(….and the answer to the question in this song is: “No. Of course not, silly! That’s not attractive at all! Duh! lol”