He laid down a piece of paper and began putting small drops of glue on it. Just a few at first. Then he placed another piece of paper over top of it and as he talked about what he was doing he picked up another two pieces of paper that he had glued together earlier. He looked at the camera and said he had placed the same amount of glue on the papers he now held in his hand. Then he began to pull the pieces apart. The pages separated easily. Only a small amount of glue residue remained on each.

Then he laid down another piece of paper and began to once again apply drops of glue. As he placed each drop he said, “Each of these drops represent different experiences, conversations we’ve had, looks we’ve given, connections we’ve made with another person.” He had applied many more drops of glue this time than on the first one. Then he picked up a set of papers that he had applied glue to earlier and as he attempted to separate the pages from each other the pages began to tear and you could see thru different areas of each page, when held up to the light, where some of each page was left still attached to the other.

I’ve thought about that example of connection frequently over the years. I’ve been a willing participant and victim of that example of connection over the years. I have no excuse. I know better. 

Men and Women are different…

Women tend to get really personal with each other seemingly easily and more frequently than men. Guess that’s why men are always accused of not opening up? Or not sharing? Why women are always wondering what we’re thinking? I dunno…

What I do know is that when a man chooses to open up he tends ta do it with one woman. Most of the time the things he’s sharing he’s doing so because he feels a connection and feels like he can trust who he’s talking to. Which is why there is so much anger that comes from men during a breakup. To a man, it’s a betrayal. And sure, it’s not that women feel betrayed too…it’s just that men are less likely ta want to immediately go tell their friends about it. Men will internalize it. Suck it up. Act out in ways that are self destructive.

Connection…we all want it. We seek it out every day. Relationships end because of the lack of it. When it’s present…you can feel it. Love, sadness, joy…you can feel them in the person you are connected to. It’s like an invisible something that you can feel regardless of time or distance.

It’s interesting to me how something so evident is ignored or dismissed so easily. How we’ll trade a look, a chat, a lunch, or a PM, all in the name of innocence, for the connections we have. Little drops of glue mindlessly given away to people who don’t really matter or have no place in our lives. We work so hard to achieve a connection with someone and then just give it away to strangers. 

Surely this can be done better? Surely intimate moments shared can hold a form of value? Surely this can matter. 

Copyright©2022 Jacob C. Larson All Rights Reserved

***If you are a woman reading this and you’ve had the opportunity to experience a man who has truly opened up to you, shared things with you that he has shared to no other, then I’d encourage you to not take that for granted. For whatever reason that man has chosen you as a confidant and he trusts you…don’t betray that trust. You make jokes, dismiss, or criticize what he tellin you? You share what he’s told you with your friends?…then you’ve proven yourself unworthy, and he’ll simply stop sharing things with you…and you’ll never see an iron curtain so cold or come down so fast as that one. Understand that. You want that trust? Then earn it, cause it comes with responsibility. 

****If you’re a man reading this…bro, I get it. But I will say this…if you been with her for years and she’s chill, you probably good ta go. It’s the ones you just meet, delve too deep, got your mouth talkin without thinkin, spillin your guts to someone who hasn’t been properly vetted, that’ll burn you. You gotta knock that shit off an kick those to the curb. Those women…they are well versed in what they do. They know how ta play men. They got hypnotising eyes and gipsy blood in their veins…you are one of half a dozen guys they got spillin their guts ta them. Stay away from that. Those are a bad rig. They have no clue what real intimacy is and they hold no value in it.