He reached to turn off the light beside the bed then watched as the red glow of the numbers on the clock turn to midnight. December 25th. It was Christmas morning. Memories of Christmases past flooding his mind. Ribbons, bows, packages, small feet in pajamas, whispers, gigglings, Christmas songs softly playing on repeat and the hint of cinnamon and pine in the air. If only she could experience it one more time, he thought. Maybe she’ll make it…maybe she’ll pull through…maybe…if only. The feeling of a whisper left his lips as if he didn’t realize he was praying. Then he kissed his wife on her forehead and slumped down in the chair beside her hospital bed.

She didn’t come home that night. Christmas Eve. The party was lit. Dancing, singing, being merry. She was with friends. She was safe. Christmas lights sparkling and music playing. The bar was on fire and blew up with cheers and laughter the moment the clock struck midnight. Christmas morning. How could she have left before that? She was with friends. Snow glistening…it was cold outside. The lights flashing, sirens blaring…no one expects to be raped on Christmas.

Another holiday. Another year. There never seems to be enough in a bottle. The end always seems ta come too soon. Just one more…then I’ll go home. He wasn’t going fast. He was focused. It was fine. He didn’t have far ta go. It was just a white light. A bright, illuminating white light. Engulfed everything. Surrounded everything…then everything slowed down. There was no thought of brakes. This was a dream. He was there…and then he wasn’t. He swerved into her lane, hit her head on. The glass exploded. The safety belt cut into her neck. Her babies were crying in the back seat. The EMT could see blood gushing from her leg. “You’ll be fine…you’re gonna make it”, he said as he put the tourniquet on her leg. But she didn’t…she died on Christmas morning.

The diagnoses came swift. Cancer. The word seemed to echo in his ears when he heard it. It wasn’t expected. Family was coming tomorrow for Christmas dinner. How could he not tell them? How could he tell them?…Who wants to ruin Christmas? 

Stockings hung. Presents wrapped and under the tree. Wrapping paper filling the living room. Smiles. Laughter. Dinner with friends and family. Decorations on the lawn. Lights trimming every angle of the house. People drive to see this house. This house is Christmas. The gate connects the fence that runs along the edge of the property. So that from a distance people can witness Hallmark. Perfect. Picturesque. Mutterings of commercialism and headlines of the “War on Christmas”. Sunday morning sermons. Protests of a manger scene. Questions of the correct spelling. Debates of the correct date.

For sake of a baby born in a manger over two thousand years ago… 

The Christ…He changed the globe. Changed the landscape of the human existence. For the first time in history. “Peace on earth”, “Goodwill towards men”…Things are different this time of year.

Once a year, every year…our focus is on other people. We contemplate and buy gifts to give. We fill food boxes and work in soup kitchens. We wish each other a “Merry Christmas” as we pass by. People are kinder. More loving. Caring. In tune…with their fellow man – during Christmas.

And yet…every story mentioned above has taken place on Christmas. 

The love, the joy, the excitement, the disappointment, the pain. The great hopes and expectations. The unbelievable fear and doubt.

THIS. IS. CHRISTMAS.

…and I pray you enjoy it this year. I pray that you don’t take it for granted. I pray you look beyond yourself, into the heart of the people around you, and CHOOSE to lose yourself in the magic of Christmas. The magic that makes you WANT to be a better person…to be a kinder person. One that puts themself “out there”…unabashed and unafraid. Free. For one day. One day, at least. Once a year. On Christmas. For other people. Feel and live with the Spirit of Christmas. The Spirit of caring. The Spirit of giving. Outside yourself, beyond yourself and your life’s current circumstances. For other people…and I wish you…I wish you a very Merry Christmas. One filled with peace, joy, and all the happiness heaven can bear…regardless of where life finds you. Thankful for the Christmases Christ has given you and making the most of the ones you have left.

Copyright©2021 Jacob C. Larson All Rights Reserved

***I’ve heard some say that they don’t like Christmas. That holidays like this bring them too much pain. The feelings of loss are too great during this time of year. Pains of the past haunt them. For those among you like this I pray that God gives you peace. That the “numb” you feel melts away, if only for a brief moment, for one day, Christmas day, so that you can remember what it’s like to be whole again…and God heals you.