I had absolutely no intention of writing a blog on the Thanksgiving holiday or of being thankful. The thought of it seemed disingenuous and cliche’. Afterall, the U.S. is just one of a handful of countries across the globe that actually has a holiday once a year that is solely devoted to being thankful. Most of the world just goes about their days being ungrateful heathens and their lives seem no less better or worse off than our own in most ways. (Yup, I said it…fight me!)

Watchin’ the clock I knew I needed to finish up work soon if I was gonna have enough daylight ta mow the lawn. First bit of no rain we’ve had in a while and I couldn’t miss it. Once finished mowing the lawn I knew I needed ta grocery shop. The prospect of it simply annoyed me. I H A T E grocery shopping. It’s actually worse than shopping for something I want. Shopping for a need is simply insulting. What a ridiculous design of a body to require fuel in order to sustain itself.

Traffic was a total joke, of course; and the moment I pulled into the parking lot I knew I had mucked up. What’s with all these cars?…Oh, that’s right, Thanksgiving…(Just then I heard the Grinch say, “You’re an idiot!”)

My choices were to park right next to the oversized beat up piece of crap “dually” truck or park out in the north forty and walk forever. The thought of pushing a cart that far back to my car repulsed me; so I decided to park next to the piece of crap truck, who had of course parked over the line, leaving crap for room for me to get out of my car.

Just get it over with, I thought…

I went to get a cart and of course some old man was struggling to get one out ahead of me. I waited. Finally with cart in hands I pushed my way through the bodies. Weaving in and out, around and through. Stopping here, stopping there. Shit…I forgot that…now I gotta go back. Shit, Shit, Shit!

WHAT IS THAT OLD MAN DOING STANDING THERE?! Bloody hell…is he following me? MUST he suddenly magically appear in front of me in EVERY DAMN isle?!

One last thing and I’m gone. Finally, with my cart half full, I can see the end to this shit ride. I turn the isle of the item I need and then I see him, coming down the isle. He’s at one end, I’m at the other. There is NO WAY we are both looking for the same thing at this very same moment. NO. FRICKIN. WAY. (The vein in my head is exploding)…as I see him waddle his ass right in front of the section of the isle that has the item I need. I stand an wait. Of course he can’t decide; of course!

Now actually having time to see him…he looked rough. His clothes were old and worn. His hair was long and he wore a haggard looking hat that seemed to have had the worst of it. He caught me standing there out of the corner of his eye, turned to look at me and smiled. “They hardly put anything in these for the price. They’re not much else but air”, he said. I looked at the bag of jerky he was holding and couldn’t help but agree. The price for the bag was truly a joke. He put it back up on the shelf. We started ta talk about the price of things. How things were probably gonna get worse. How him living on a fixed income he had to really watch his pennies.

It was a brief conversation. He went his way and I went mine.

I finished checking out…and yup, the damn self checkout mucked up and the lady monitoring them had ta come over ta fix it, of course.

Finally free from the torture I had been subjected to, that is grocery shopping, I made my way out the store and walked towards my car. Who was that in pushing a cart in front of me?…That old frickin man. Walking right over to that giant piece of shit truck that I had to park by and had barely any room to get out because it was parked over the line. (Seriously, the timing was uncanny. I knooooow I moved faster than his old ass thru that store. Yet, here we were, loading groceries into our vehicles at the same time)

He looked over and smiled. “Hey, sorry about being so close. My eyes aren’t like they used ta be and parking this old truck gets harder and harder.” I just smiled back and said, No worries.

I had no reason to be upset or bothered by any of that. None. I was simply in a bad mood for no valid reason. Simply allowed small minor inconveniences bother me more than they should have. I moved through that store and around those people because I could. My legs are strong and healthy. I didn’t think about the volume or weight of the products I bought because I had the money to buy what I wanted and needed. I wear my clothes looking worn because I choose to wear them that way.

My drive home consisted of thoughts of how much of a jackass I had been. How with even a holiday so close as Thanksgiving…of how incredibly unthankful and ungrateful I am.

And I think about how we spend our days throughout the year…how out of touch we are with the people around us. How so wrapped up into our own little worlds we are. How during this time of year people tend to post lists on social media of all the things they’re thankful for and I wonder…is it possible to be truly thankful for something if you don’t recognize what you truly have?

Of all the good things I have in my life, I’m not sure that I always recognize the good of them. Most of the time I think I take things for granted. I struggle daily with what is and thoughts of how things should be. Robs me of my joy. Steals my present. Takes my peace. Haunts my dreams. Constantly pushing me towards a destination that isn’t of my own accord.

….then there’s this old man; with soft eyes and a voice with a slight rasp in it, apologizing to ME for not seeing well enough ta park his truck.

Copyright©2021 Jacob C. Larson All Rights Reserved

***I think in order to be truly thankful…truly grateful, for your life or anything in it, you HAVE to have suffered loss or experienced it. You have to know or witness what it’s like to be without whatever you have. Only then can we truly say we’ve been blessed. 

****The bible speaks of entertaining angels unaware…was that old man an angel? I dunno…but that would explain how that old bastard beat me to his truck in the parking lot. 

*****I wish all of you a very happy Thanksgiving. (Even if you don’t celebrate it in your country)… and I pray that the beauty of your life is shown to you and that you are truly grateful for it.