Ever been so sure, so set on something, that you just knew it was what you truly wanted? A direction or course in life that you wanted to go; a job interview, business idea, or relationship that you were just dead set on making it happen and for whatever reason, it just doesn’t work out?

I have.

Looking back over the course of my life, I have lost count of how many things I have fervently prayed for; Jobs, relationships, cars, sales, you name it. 

For me…I’m a pretty driven, aggressive, kinda guy. So, when i’m working towards something, I can be quite relentless in my pursuit. “Like water…over, around it, through it”…my attitude has always been that roadblocks are just delays that simply need to be sorted. So you hit harder, push farther, persist. Because you know, right? You know what’s best…you know what you need; and nothing is going to stop you from acquiring it.

Then, when it doesn’t work out, I get pissed. Frustrated. Angry. I voice those emotions towards God; and I don’t hold back, there’s no reverence or respect given.

Never once did it ever occur to me how much of that is based on ego.

…But it is…isn’t it. The thought, concept, or desire that you know better? 

Then sometimes you see it. Sometimes God gives you the opportunity to see how what you wanted would have worked out had you gotten your way. And when you’re standing there…looking at the train wreck of whatever it was that you were working so hard to get, and you hear inside that subtle voice that speaks to your spirit and says, “See!”; you can’t help but realize you dodged a bullet. You can’t help but feel a bit humbled and admit that…you were wrong in your assessment.  You didn’t have it right. You didn’t know what you were so confident to think you knew. God was looking out for you…and you fought Him for it. 

There’s a level of stupid that I honestly feel a times God has reserved for me to feel. Can’t explain it really. It’s just like sometimes the lightbulb in my head is delayed and when it flicks on it provides and epic, duh!; at just the right moment.

It’s a hard thing for me to rest in. The concept that God is actually moving and doing things to your ultimate benefit. Even when He’s silent…

Sometimes our brains like to dress up past events to make then feel better than what they were. Sometimes our minds will dramatize future events in a way that make them sound more appealing.

When the reality is, our past is just a pig with a bow on it; and the future we think we want, is just a future trainwreck being seen through rose colored glasses. 

The truth of it is that sometimes people aren’t always what they appear to be. Sometimes the job we want leads to a dead end. Sometimes the place we want to move into has a deadly mold growing in the walls that will kill the next person who lives there. Sometimes the route we’re planning on taking home that night is going to have a flash flood; so you get to sit in traffic waiting for the detour. Sometimes circumstances, events, and people, have a learning curve associated with them…and the journey is more important than the destination. 

There are things in this life that are unknown to us; things happening, going to happen, that we are not privy to. It’s in those moments of frustration and anger, when things aren’t going our way, that we remember: God sees things that we don’t. He knows things we don’t. 

And although it pains me to even admit as I type this…Some of God’s greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers. 

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