Call me crazy, but when it comes to my friends and the woman I’m intimate with, I kinda consider them to be my safe zone. 

They’re the people I can be vulnerable with. Share my thoughts with, say what I want, be how I want around, etc. and not have to worry about them thinking bad of me. It’s a trust thing. They’re trusted. By test of time and title: they’ve earned it.

Which is why, when I hear someone trashing their friend or mate on their physical appearance, I take pause. Not that jabs amongst friends isn’t a thing; it most assuredly is. Can be hella fun too, if both people are laughing. But it always Scoobies me when I see the same joke being repeated, by the same people, directed at the same person, every time they meet. I can’t help but wonder, do they really like this guy? Is he really a friend? Why would they go on like that?

If someone you call your friend is overweight, surely they wouldn’t have to take shit about it with you, right? I mean…right. Or any other physical thing that isn’t quite typical and easily exploited? As a friend, sure it may have been brought up initially, but surely it’s not the topic of a routine conversation? Surely, it’s not mentioned every time you’re around that person, right?

Some things are just off limits with your friends, right? Like…how hott their Mom is or how you’d like to tap their sister, etc. It’s just BASIC. Say it once, sure, I can see a guy given you a pass; as a friend. Repeatedly say that and frankly, I think if the guy hit you in the head with a brick you had it comin. Not just because you were so disrespectful that you said it, but because clearly you’re stupid; and stupid should hurt.

If you’re in a intimate relationship with someone and they’re pointing out physical flaws about you, something is wrong. Fundamentally, seriously, W R O N G. That’s just something you don’t do. Like…Ever. I mean, why would you do that to someone you love?

I get it. Sometimes in an argument people say things they don’t mean out of anger or frustration; but trust me, you don’t even want to do it then. It’s a huge mistake. Avoid it. Little jokes, criticisms, critiques, etc. can breed serious resentment. The kind that doesn’t go away. It can stay with a person for years.

They’re your Mate…anything derogatory that you say in regards to their physical appearance or personality is going to be amplified. It will literally cut to their very core. Cut them in ways that a physical wound would never cut. You gotta remember that. They could spend their day feeling fat, ugly, worthless, a failure, etc. and when you look at them all of that will melt away and mean nothing; because of you. You, who sees none of that, and loves them anyway. See, THAT is your responsibility, as a mate, as a friend. To build them up, provide that support, that well-being, when there is none. 

While the rest of world points out the flaws and the failures, beats you down, your friends and the person you’re with, should be the ones standing with you. Should be the ones who you feel safe with. Should be the ones you can let your hair down, remove the defenses with, and just be you; and not take shit with.

People who claim to be friends or mates that point out your flaws, or continuously say things that are offensive, aren’t being witty. In fact, its a sign of a lack of wit. The material never changes; it’s the same shit. Day after day, time after time, repeatedly pointing out the obvious in an effort to build themselves up at the expense of their so called friends and their mates. It comes from a position of weakness; mental, emotional, weakness. Rooted in a lack of wisdom and self depreciation.

And if they are like that…then you’ve got shitty friends and you need ta find yourself a different mate. Don’t ever put up with that.

Copyright©2020 Jacob C. Larson All Rights Reserved