The song, “Raise your glass” by the artist Pink, came out in 2001. My daughter was nine years old. It was the same year I got divorced from her mother.

My daughter, from as long as I can remember, has always been a “good” girl. Always one to follow the rules. Never one to rock the boat or cause grief; unless you weren’t following the rules, then she’d be on you. But she was always really good at doing what needed to be done and helping without complaint. Nicole was always right on point. Straight “A” student. Always. No exceptions. Ever. She never had to be told or coerced to do that. She just did it. Naturally. It is apparently in her DNA or something. Not from me; definitely not from my DNA, but from somewhere non-the-less.

So I was always just trying to get her to relax, ya know? Kinda just chill. Not always take life so seriously. Not necessarily be so responsible all the time. Just be a kid.

At the time, I had been divorced from her mom and still living with them. That made things hard. Way hard. The conclusion that it wasn’t going to work came and I needed to find a place. It was the weekend. Her brother was over at a friends house, her mother was doing what she was doing, and it was just me and Nicole. I had a list of potential rentals and asked if she was up for driving around and checking them out. She agreed to go, so we spent the better part of a day driving around to different places.

We had been blasting the radio the entire time. Listening to tunes has always be our thing. Both my kids love music; and Nicole is a music junky, like her father. So we had just seen a place and were trying to find the next one; only the address we had didn’t seem to be correct. It was frustrating. Finally, I had had enough. After looking at places all day and not finding anything I liked, struggling to find the last one just sealed it for me. I asked if she wanted to just skip it and drive; she agreed. So the radio went up and we just drove.

Then this song by Pink comes on, Raise your glass; and this song is off the hook. This is new, so I’m totally listening to the words, and stuff just stands out:

“Don’t be fancy, just get dancy
Why so serious?”

“So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways, all my underdogs
We will never be, never be anything but loud
And nitty, gritty, dirty, little freaks
Won’t you come on and come on and
Raise your glass
Just come on and come on and
Raise your glass“

“Wish you’d just freak out (Freak out already)”

“So if you’re too school for cool (I mean)
And you’re treated like a fool (Treated like a fool)
You can choose to let it go
We can always, we can always party on our own“

And I look over, at my little girl…she’s got her eyes closed, her arms raised, and she’s just belting out the chorus. It. Was. Beautiful. I just…I don’t even know how to explain it. I was just like, YAAAAASS! That song just hit her so deep, ya know? Like…she could just feel the words. And I’m trying to drive, pay attention to the road, but all I wanted to do was not miss the moment, ya know? So I look back at the road and I’m glancing back, seeing her as she mumbles through the “bad” words of the song and peeking out of the corner of her eye to see if I saw her say them (’cause at that age it was like, uh no); and I’m in between laughing and tears over it. It was just so cool. We immediately hit a store and bought that CD with that song on it. I’ll never forget it.

It became our song, and every time I hear it I’m reminded of that moment, and that look on her face.

I recently got a matching tattoo with her brother and I wanted to get one with her too. So when thinking of what we could get that would be unique to us, the memory of this moment hit me and I immediately knew that was it. The music lyrics of this song and the title, Raise your glass. She loved the idea and drew it up; then we sent it to a local tattoo artist. Then COVID hit and the idea was tabled. I wanted to surprise her with it on her birthday. I just wasn’t sure how. The local shops were all closed. I had kept in touch with the local artist and as luck would have it, his shop was set to open the day before her birthday, so I set the appointment; and on her birthday we got it done.

She leaves for college in another State the end of June. I’m filled with mixed emotions over it. I’m excited for her…I always knew, given her academic ability, she was going to far exceed anything I have ever done edjucasionly wise. She’ll do well. Be in the top of her class. Always is. And I am soooo proud of that. But…I’m just going to miss her. She’s been tagging along with me for nearly twenty years. Twenty years…I just don’t know how the time went by so fast. It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. So I’m not sure exactly what to do with it, ya know? It just seems so foreign and odd. I’ve never worked so hard to avoid thinking about anything in my life. Time waits for no one…this I know.

But perhaps occasionally, in between the studying, testing and busyness of whatever her life there brings her, she’ll look down and remember a time with her father…a long time ago, where she could feel the music resonate with her soul. A brief moment in time, when things were simplified into just listening and going with it. No challenge, no fighting, no rules…just music. For me, when I look at my arm, I’m reminded of my little girl, shouting lyrics at the world…free from the weight of everything she’s carrying. What a beautiful moment in time.

***Special thanks to Benjamin “Moose” Morrow; the tattoo artist that made these tattoos possible.

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