It’s the same every year. Every year as the holidays approach people are inundated with holiday cheer, dinner plans, and that incessant need to buy someone a gift. Lights, packages, and bows, trees to find an adorn, stockings to be hung, the impending weight that family members you haven’t seen in nearly a year will be present at dinner watching you eat. It can be a bit overwhelming at times. And if by chance, you are a part of that unlucky group that’s actually suffered a loss during this time, then you can just add those emotions on top of all of it, to complete the long, slow, growing feeling of dread as the date approaches.

People are like, “Yaaay!” and you’re like: Bite me.

I get it. I truly do.

If you have to see one more light…hear of one more “Omg, I’m so full” story of how amazing the meal was. (Que eye roll)

It’s as if people are totally clueless to your pain. Totally clueless that there are other people in this world that don’t share their joy during this time. People that, just for a moment, would like to just table their emotions and get through the day.

I’m familiar with the process. Been there.

Can’t shake the feelings of loss or regret. Can’t slow down time or change the date. So the days pass, and with each day the dread grows. The sickening feeling in your stomach of having no place to go; or having a place to go, and knowing you’ll be faking a smile while you’re dying inside. All too aware of the status of your life, totally oblivious to the people around you.

Do you accept the invite and go? Or do you simply stay home. Perhaps staying home is the only option you have…and yet, some of those that have the option to go, envy YOU.

It’s a prospective thing. A mental choice. A decision that has to be made.

No, it’s not always an easy one. Sometimes it’s downright difficult. But you can master the thought process. Small steps at first. Then bigger as things become more familiar. By realizing it’s not about you, this time of year; and that you have to get out of your head, and choose to focus on other people.

I know, sometimes that sucks. Even the thought of that can seem exhausting.

But it’s not for not. It has a purpose. That purpose is the key behind totally avoiding the holidays and saving money. It’s the freedom behind the reason you dread the holidays and why you view it as a financial burden. You simply need to “let go“; as clique as that may seem. Consider it a mental mind experiment. One that changes the word holiday, to simply any other day. Not to diminish or lessen it, but to make it bearable. You’ve successfully managed other days, what makes this one any different? You. You do. You decide the importance or gravity of that day. You can carry the weight of expectation on your shoulders throughout all the days leading up to it and during it, or not. Simply, choose to let it go and not be bothered by it. Participate. Or not. You get to decide. That’s the beauty of being an adult; and shows the power of the mind. You choose, and your brain will follow suit. It has to. Because you control it. Sure, it may take a bit of time. You may have to consistently and routinely reinforce the thought process. But I guarantee you, once you’ve worked at it, you will manipulate and change your thought process.

People consider the money they spend during the holidays as a loss because they’re looking at it wrong.

It isn’t dollars and cents. There isn’t a monetary value attached to it. You’re looking for a gift, something that will bring joy to the recipient. Someone you care about. Looking for something that resonates with their soul. Touches them in a way that fills them up and makes them burst with excitement and merriment. Money can’t do that. That comes from thought. That comes from knowing. That comes from having an understanding of who someone is. So quit putting a price tag on that. Start being more creative. Think! What do they really want? What do they really need? Maybe the best gift for that special someone is a quiet cup of coffee and conversation with you? See what I mean? Maybe time, being the most precious commodity, is the gift you should be giving? Maybe your mere presence at dinner accomplishes that?

You don’t have anyone to spend the holidays with? Find someone. Reach out. There are more people like you out there. Listen. Be aware. Seek them out; and build a day together.

Get out of your head. I realize you hurt. I realize there’s pain. I know it’s hard to shake. Shake it. Push through it. Think about other people during this time. Just for the day. Set your stuff aside, for a few hours…let it go. Give your mind the permission it needs, to rest and enjoy the holidays. Then before you know it, the holidays will be over and you’ll be better prepared for next year.

 

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