He sat in my chair fiddling with his keys as he went on about how he didn’t understand what he had done wrong, why she was upset, and what he could do. As he talked, I just listened. Then he looked up at me and said, “I just don’t get it”.

I looked at him, and said matter of factly, “The weather changed”.

His face was the look of confusion as I could see his mind attempt to process what I had just said. “What does the weather have to do with anything I just said”, he asked.

Nothing. And everything.

See, men and women are somewhat unique in how we process stuff. We can go to the same venues and yet walk away thinking and feeling sometimes totally different.

For men, we’re somewhat simplistic in our assessment and approach. We have somewhat of “tunnel” vision/purpose. We can have a good night with a woman and for six days of the following week till we see that woman again that is all we’ll have on our mind. That night. That ONE night. We’ll still remember the fun we had, the laughter we shared, and the feeling we had when we were with her. The world could literally be falling apart for those six days, but the ONLY thing on our minds, the ONLY thing that will truly matter to us, is that moment, that time, when we can be with her again. We’ll show up on that day excited and ready to experience that night again. Cause that’s just how our brains work.

We could literally have had our house burn down, had a near brush with death, throughout the week…but the one thing that makes it “ok”, is the hope, the chance, to be with that woman again. One more time. One more night. We’re focused on it. Dialed in. Intoxicated and drunk with the possibility of it all. Looking to re-live it. We’ll bust out twelve hour work days with ease, drag ourselves home each night, dream about it each night, to be with that woman again. Still there. Still present, in our minds, on that one day. That one night. A good night. A fun night.

But it turns out, six days is a long time. And women process things differently.

While our focus the entire week has been on that one night, that one conversation, that one kiss, etc. A lot has happened and even though we didn’t notice or we dismissed it, that woman noticed.

She noticed being cut off in traffic and how it made her feel. She noticed how difficult it was to wake up in the morning and how difficult it was to get the kids ready for school. She noticed how behind she was on laundry. She noticed how many times she struggled with what to make for dinner. She noticed how she had to fight to get her kids to do their homework. She noticed when they complained about what she made for dinner. She noticed the look of the woman in the store when her daughter had a melt down on isle 3 in front of the ice cream. She noticed. All of it. It’s draining.

None of the things in your week may have had an impact on your grasp of that night. But the accumulation of the things that took place during her week, had impact. Was noticed. And that feeling she had…that freeing feeling when she could let go, relax, and enjoy the moment when she was with you, has been lost. The weather has changed.

It wasn’t on purpose. She didn’t want to lose it. Her hearts desire was to keep it. To stay there. But she simply couldn’t.

Sometimes the overwhelming things of life are simply too overwhelming. Sometimes the desire to remain in the moment is lost in the need to care and maintain those that require it. Sometimes the responsibilities of life take precedence over what we truly would like to do.

She wants to take that break. She wants to relax. She wants to connect with you once again…

Understand that. Don’t take her appearance of disinterest personal. It’s not.

Take her there once again…

Step back. Recognize the new script that’s flipped and roll with it. Just listen. Listen and actual hear what she’s telling you about her day.

I know it’s sometimes hard to understand. But you don’t have to understand it to recognize it and behave accordingly. What was blue skies turned gray can be blue and warm once again. Just be patient, understanding, and give her the time. Then you’ll see her once again and the beauty of her soul will shine bright and you’ll capture the Quan of that connection once again. Giving you one more week of bliss while the world crashes down around you and you’ll navigate it without the notice of it and she’ll appreciate you for it.

 

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