Ever get used to the way something is, not out of choice but necessity? Like, you know something isn’t right, you’ve recognized the pattern, how things go down; but it’s not within your power or control to change, so you just learn to deal and just go with it. And over time, the unusual and odd becomes the norm; it’s your new normal. You just stop fighting and just accept things for the way they are. Pushing along with what you feel is the only way you can get by.

Then suddenly, you’re free. Free from the circumstance or situation that you had grown accustom to. The proverbial fence is removed; and yet, you still stand there. Trapped inside the imaginary fence that still plagues your mind.

You go about your day, totally unaware that you’re literally hemorrhaging inside. It’s almost like you’re ball shy; but the ball is an imaginary ball that’s in your head and it’s not being thrown at you anymore, but you’re STILL trying to dodge it.

And when you finally realize what’s happening…it’s almost like you feel silly for not realizing it sooner. Like, you just laugh at the prospect of not having to constantly be looking over your shoulder. As if something so odd could have ever been made to be so normal for you.

It’s such a strange feeling.

Acceptance. Understanding. Loyalty.

You wonder to yourself….is this real? You test it. You have to, right? I mean…this can’t be real. But it is…and then you realize something even more profound. Something even harder for you to grasp. Healing. That you need to heal. Seems like such a strange concept considering you didn’t recognize the wound in the first place.

So then you’re aware, right? You know the cut. Recognize it. Now you have to consciously make an effort not to allow it to carry forward. Right now, you have to recognize the disfunction for what it was and address it with conscious thought. Until what was once a subconscious reaction to disfunction, becomes a healthy response to a REAL normal. Time is your friend.

Suddenly…the world looks different. Command me to be well…Indeed.

 

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