On August 3, 2007 three year old Nia Glassie was admitted to the hospital and pronounced dead. She had been subject to physical abuse for weeks, possibly even months, before she succumbed to the abuse.

She had been kicked, beaten, slapped, jumped on, spit on, held over a burning fire, and put in a clothes dryer that was spinning for up to thirty minutes. There was more. She suffered much more. By the hands of her mothers boyfriend, his brother, and other members of her own family. Sickening? What’s more sickening is her family, that was celebrating a 21st birthday, waited over 36 hours after she had slipped into a coma before they took her to a hospital. Even then her mother went out clubbing while her daughter lay dying in the hospital.

The trial last four weeks. People were convicted. The public was shocked. People wept. Various campaigns against child abuse were held. A song was written.

But Nia is still dead. A three year old little girl. Innocent. Only needed love and nurturing. Unforgivably taken from this world.

I hear of stories like this and I get angry. Just makes me angry. That’s my gut reaction when my heart hurts. This story hurts my heart. I want justice. Pay back. Revenge. But reading about the convictions doesn’t quite satisfy that desire; and getting justice on the abuser doesn’t bring back the innocence that has been lost. See, this story isn’t unique. I wish it was but it’s not. There are literally thousands more. Different names, faces, places, but the result is the same: innocence is lost or snuffed out forever. Children all over the globe are suffering abuses unimaginable, every day, at the hands of adults; who are supposed to protect them.

So, I wonder….how can this be stopped? How can this problem be fixed? The cynic in me whispers, “It can’t”….Too many broken people, from broken or dysfunctional families. People who are still struggling through the abuses they were raised on; unknowingly or in denial, of the havoc its caused on their children and the people they care about.

In an effort to reduce healthcare costs, a private insurance company by the name of “Kaiser Permanente” conducted a study called, “A.C.E.” (Adverse Childhood Experiences), from 1995 to 1997. It is one of the largest investigations of childhood abuse, neglect, and household challenges ever conducted. The results are extensive. They were able to draw a correlation between childhood experiences while we are growing up to our future health needs. One statistic of the study suggests that over 80% of the populace, based on the control group, has suffered from some form of abuse, mental illness, drug abuse, neglect, or had a family member that has suffered from those things. The result being….a change in us. How we relate to things; how we view the world. Being exposed to that stuff at an early age changes the neural pathways in our brain and we do things differently. In some cases, we perpetuate the abuse we’ve experienced.

On and on it goes. From generation to generation. Broken people, doing the best they can with what they can. Only sometimes, doing the best we can isn’t enough, and someone dies.

I don’t have the solutions. I wish I did. But I do know, seemingly simple things like REPORTING abuse that we’ve witnessed, would have an impact. At least I think it would have in the case of Nia; had the neighbor who witnessed her being hung on the clothes line reported what they saw. But hey, they didn’t want to get involved. So a three year old got to suffer a horrible death, to pacify some douche bags emotions of being put out to make a call. Great.

We have legislation being passed in an effort to protect children from abuse, and one of the greatest opponents to its passing, often comes from the religious Right, who worry about maintaining their ability to practice their faith of, “Spare the rod, spoil the child”, is being infringed; and their parenting rights are being taken away. So inept at comprehending the point behind what they’re reading they can’t grasp the concept of the “rod” being “discipline”. It doesn’t actually mean you use a rod. The WHOLE point of the “rod” is to provide discipline. There are literally dozens of ways to discipline a child. So for the slow wit folk reading this, imagine the scripture reading like, “Spare discipline, spoil the child”. Actually using a rod isn’t necessary. Get it? And the fact that even needs explained, pains me.

The reality is, the human condition is prevalent in society. Self doubt, fear, anxiety, selfishness, lack of empathy, drug abuse, mental illness, etc. It’s actually quite a long list of negative societal attributes. Most of which has been the result of years of abuse and neglect. Few are seemingly exempt. So my hope is, as individuals, we can recognize the failures and struggles within us, choose to address those deficits, and put an end to the cycle. Become a voice for the innocent. With the strength of purpose to RECOGNIZE and REPORT the abuse we witness. SUPPORT the passing of legislation that is designed to protect our children. And PRAY that the innocent souls in heaven, that have lost their lives due to our refusals to change and ignorance, will find it in their hearts to forgive us.

If you are a witness to the abuse or neglect of a child, PLEASE REPORT IT! The number to the National Child Abuse Hotline (For the USA and Canada) is: 1-800-422-4453. Make the call. Save a life.

 

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