On June 17th 2013, the band Avicii released a song titled, “Wake me up”. It became widely popular. Hitting the airwaves on nearly every station, I couldn’t help but love the song the moment I heard it. The lyrics resonated with me. But it wasn’t until I watched the music video that I really started thinking about it.

The video starts with a mother and a daughter waking up in the morning, and on their arms the camera makes a point to show a symbol. A marking. Two triangles. Then it shows them walking through a town and as they’re walking people are looking at them, staring, with expressions on their faces as if they are doing something wrong; like they shouldn’t be there, they’re not welcome. They can feel the weight of the looks. The disapproval. The feeling of being in the wrong place. Unaccepted. Unwanted.

Once again waking up in the early morning, the mother slips out while the little girl is sleeping and goes for a ride. She finds herself in a different city. In that city she comes across people who also have that same symbol that she has on her arm. She’s accepted. Loved. Appreciated. So she goes back to get her daughter and they both leave the town that rejected them for a place where they could be who they were.

It’s a brilliant marketing strategy by Acicii. Absolutely brilliant. The song, in and of itself, is a powerful song. But that symbol, that video, really resonates with people. That feeling of being an outsider. Not belonging. Then to suddenly belong and be accepted. It’s an amazing thing. People actually get that symbol tattooed on themselves. That’s how much they can feel the meaning behind the music. I’ll admit, I’ve considered getting that tattoo.

In my life, I’ve met few than have been more of an outsider than me. Constantly doing things wrong by someones standards. Occasionally meeting someone who understands and accepts me for who I am, and the trouble that ultimately comes with me. Always surprises me when it happens. So used to taking it on the chin for the disapproval. Makes ya kinda do a double take when someone like you comes along and can relate.

People do things differently. See the world differently. And as much as I’ve studied and accepted the Enneagram for the difference in personalities, I’d say that finding your place, your tribe, is different. I’d say, it goes far above and beyond the personality types. Because I can acknowledge you for where you are, whatever your personality type may be and hopefully you can acknowledge mine. You can be you. Regardless of your “Type” and I can be me. And if approached that way, things work. We don’t have to agree. We don’t have to do things the same. It’s ok to be different in our approach. But we have to be accepted, or it doesn’t work. That’s what I’ve found anyway. The older I get the more it seems to be true.

Ever met someone or been around someone where literally every thing that came out of your mouth they took issue with? Or have been accused of doing something for reasons you had no clue you were even being perceived as doing? Or when they question your intentions when you had nothing but the best intentions in mind? Disapproval. Unacceptance. The menacing view that you are in some way bad? Or done something offensive or wrong?

Let those people go. Seriously. They don’t get it. Never will get it. Be willing to allow yourself to be you and be true enough in who you are to let other people be who they are. Find your Tribe. Your tribe being people that, may differ in personality, but still recognize, value, and appreciate you. I’m not talking about not recognizing or not working on things you have and need to change for personal development. Or that you have no need for personal growth. I’m simply saying sometimes, the wrong that is you, has less to do with you, and more to do with the people you’re with. Don’t be afraid to ditch them. Let them go. Find your tribe. People like you. People who accept you for you. Allow you to be you. There you’ll find peace. Acceptance. True love.

For me, I’m a big fan of those that are Team Jacob. People that in spite of my faults, failures, etc. are still there. The kind of people that are rooting for me. Want me to win. Want me to succeed. Understand that what is broken in me, isn’t the definitive of me. They know that I’m a work in progress and still got my back. That’s what you need. Something real and genuine. Seek that out and let the rest fall where they may. Be at peace, knowing that you will do for them, what they’re willing to do for you: accept you for you. They’ll be your tribe.

Read more here: An introduction to the Enneagram

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