Years ago I was given a book written by James Allen called, “As a Man Thinketh”. It was a short book. I’d like to say it was an easy read; but it really wasn’t for me. That book made me think. I ended up re-reading various parts of it just to make sure I was able to grasp what was being said. Then, when my son turned 13, I took him on a week long walkabout down through California to the border of Mexico and we read that book together all along the way.

During that trip we talked about life, women, his responsibilities as a man, and some of what he would undoubtedly encounter in his life. My intent was to answer questions, prepare him, and take him out of his element so that I had his undivided attention. We spent more time talking than reading. The subject matter was extensive. Raw. I didn’t pull any punches with him.

I’ve thought about that trip, our time together, and that book for years now.

The core concept is simple: You become what you think. But as time has passed I’ve questioned its principles.

On one hand, I have seen the results of people who limit themselves with the thought process they have. You can sit and listen to them talk about their jobs or relationships and hear the various ways they make things become the impossible. How they are seemingly in a constant state of perpetually getting ready to get ready. Always thinking, planning, but never quite getting to the point of pulling the trigger and making something happen. There’s always something that needs to be done first, or paid off first, or taken care of first, before they can take that trip or change that job or have that talk.

Negative self talk, that beats a person down emotionally and spiritually to the point of apathy or complacency. Setting themselves up for failure by simply not believing in themselves or giving a situation the benefit of the doubt. Dwelling on the worst things that can or may happen in life to the point where they’re robbed of their joy and can’t find peace. Moments and blessings lost to fear.

It’s sad. Frustrating. So much time is wasted because of it. So much opportunity is lost because of the failure to act. Our minds, our thoughts, holding us back. Being held hostage because of a fear that’s been created and made very real in our minds.

I’m guilty of it. I’d love to say that wasn’t true. I’d love to say I read that book and a few others and I’ve mastered the thoughts that haunt my mind. But that isn’t true. In spite of my conscious efforts to stay positive, I constantly find myself in a place of uncertainty, doubt, fear. Crippled by a fear of failure. It’s become the driving force behind my incessant need to be busy, be productive, get something done. Don’t get me wrong, I can chill…when it’s on my terms and I’ve completed whatever I’m working on. But that need to drive is never far from my mind.

So I wonder….is life as easy as simply controlling our thoughts? Can we change the outcome of a circumstance or situation by simply viewing and reacting to it differently? “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”…..really? I make that statement and sarcasm and cynicism immediately comes to my mind.

Over, under, around, or through….that has been my attitude, whenever I’ve been working on anything I’ve ever wanted. Any task I’ve set my mind to. Things have never come easy for me. I’ve always had to work at it. So when my focus is drawn to something I want or something I’ve wanted to accomplish, I’ve taken that approach. Basically meaning that whatever gets in my way, I’m going over it, under it, around it, or through it, to get reach what I want. It sounds good, right? Employers love that. It’s like, the correct approach to succeed in achieving a goal. But here’s the thing….it doesn’t always work. Sometimes I get shut down. Hard. No amount of thinking positive on the planet changes that.

And that’s the rub.

Sometimes in life, your ability to Think outside the box, is bound by genetics, biology, education level, life experience, childhood trauma, etc. And that is something most people don’t want to talk about. Because, well, it’s kind of a depressing thought and it hints towards the fact that you aren’t always in control.

I’m not saying you can’t make an effort to change your stars…

I’m simply questioning how much of that ability comes from dumb luck, divine intervention, fate, or unseen forces pushing and pulling us in the directions we are destined to go…

They say in death peace comes when people stop fighting it. Perhaps life was meant to be lived the same way.

What do you think?

 

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